Due to the social distancing that’s currently in effect, NFL games will most likely be played in front of no live crowds. This gives the league an excellent opportunity to experiment with evolving their broadcasts, so here we make a few suggestions to make Cleveland Browns games fun even without fans
There WILL be football! That’s great news, Cleveland Browns fans.
The NFL’s 32 team schedules have just been released, sending a clear signal to the football world that the 2020 NFL season is actually going to happen. Goodell be praised, it’s a miracle!
Just kidding, it’s a multi-billion-dollar industry, it was always gonna happen.
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But given the worldwide pandemic and the social distancing required to “flatten the curve” of the oft-deadly COVID-19 virus, this pro football season, especially the broadcasts, will no doubt look a bit different. Especially when it comes to who’s there watching.
As in, probably no live crowds at the games.
My first reaction when I heard that crowd-less games might happen was, “Well, that sucks.”
And it does suck for all those players who thrive and excel athletically off the energy of 80,000 screaming fans, though at least they'll still be working. It also kinda sucks for the loyal season ticket holders who already paid but won’t get to attend
But boy oh boy it REALLY sucks for all those workers at the stadiums and hotels and restaurants and stores and bars and nightclubs and for the Uber drivers and prostitutes and strippers who won’t make a dime from those absentee crowds.
And it kinda sucks for the rest of us fans who are going to have to watch these crowd-free games from home and deal with whatever effects that has on our favorite pastime.
But by Goodell, at least there WILL be football!
Crowd-less NFL games. Wonder what THAT’s gonna be like?
Probably a lot like it's been watching the Tonight Show with no live studio audience. Yeah, after a while you get used to it, but it’s still weird because something's missing. (Johnny Carson?) No, live laughter and the other sounds of the crowd responding. And that silent vacuum is absolutely noticeable, even when the jokes are funny and delivered well.
So, given this 2020 reality that the Cleveland Browns and the other NFL teams currently face, why not choose to see the Lombardi Trophy as half full? Why not turn this less-than-perfect situation into a positive by trying some fun broadcasting changes that you couldn’t (or wouldn’t) normally do with all those fans there?
With that in mind, here are half a dozen suggestions for fun ways to spruce up the 2020 crowd-less Cleveland Browns games.
Let’s hope at least some of them stick.
1) Multi-mic the field so we can really hear the hits
This one seems like a no-brainer and the easiest adjustment to make since the NFL does not suffer a lack of equipment and they already sorta do this. Everyone who’s ever stood on an NFL sideline (I haven’t) claims the intensity and sound and energy of these giant players colliding into each other is un-freakin-believable. Earth shattering. Bone rattling.
So, mic it up. Every player, coach, ref, even the first down marker guy wears a tiny microphone. Quadruple the parabolic mic budget. That way in those cavernous empty stadiums, those hits will explode and echo, and WE at home will get to experience the beefy sound of all that brutality and sheer power through our home studios. Please, make us crap our Browns gear.
Of course, with all those mics, they may have to go with a 3-second “curse” delay ‘cause some of these athletes are, ahem, expressive.
2) Put mini-cameras on EVERYone
How cool would it be to see exactly what Baker Mayfield sees from under center? And what Denzel Ward is looking at from the secondary? And what Kevin Stefanski finds interesting in the middle of a play? Put a camera on everyone and let the producer sort it out.
Granted, 100 different live streams could be a nightmare, but that’s what computers are for. Some brilliant nerds did that for the NFL Draft and it was flawless - pay them big money to do the same for these crowd-less games. Couple that with all those mics we just added and that lets us fans at home really absorb the game like we're on the roster.
And while you're at it, give the SkyCam operator permission to get "dangerous," and maybe at halftime throw a GoPro on a friendly monkey and let him run around the empty stadium.
3) Pump in crowd noise for big plays
Okay, I’ll admit this one may or may not be a good idea, but it would be worth a try. Before and after any big play, turn up some crowd noise on the house speakers and get those players psyched. Of course, after watching Bill Maher desperately add a laugh track during his HBO show instead of his normal live audience, long moments of silence might be far less painful.
Maybe instead of crowd noise, try pumping in music. Ever play Madden 2020? Throw in some hip-hop and country-funk blasts after Myles Garrett sacks a QB and that could enhance the excitement. "Put your hands where my eyes can see!!!" Busta Myles!
At the very least, pump in a laugh track every time the refs miss a call. Make a note, call Maher.
4) Do NOT light up the stands during the game
Ever been in an empty stadium? Re-watch one of Baker Mayfield's Progressive ads or any Bengals home game and you'll see that staring at that many vacant seats is just sad. Thousands upon thousands of empty chairs, each a reminder of what isn’t there.
The Browns are used to playing in front of and for their amazing fans, so who knows how having to look up at row upon row of empty seats might affect them. So darken the stands and light up the field and give the teams a fair chance to get lost in the game.
They could fill the place with masked cardboard cutout fans like they did for Taiwanese Baseball, but did you see how spooky those pics looked? Or else use computers and 3D lasers to implant a digital crowd, but that might actually be more depressing to play football in front of than empty seats. Unless they're all holding digital puppies.
5) Kill the TD celebrations, they’ll fall flat
If a touchdown is scored in the middle of a forest, is all that dancing and celebrating really necessary? Or will it feel like when you sing in front of the mirror?
Lots of Browns fans do love the post-score Broadway productions that some of these players have spent their valuable time choreographing, but it won't be nearly as much fun for 'Hollywood' Higgins to walk his imaginary red carpet if the crowd he's pumping up is equally invisible.
Might be a good time to get back to crossing the goal line and casually tossing the ball to the ref like it was no big deal to score, ala Jim Brown.
6) Give Jim Donovan and Doug Dieken their own Booger-Mobile
Ex-player turned NFL color commentator Booger McFarland would call the MNF games from the 'Booger-Mobile,' an easy chair contraption elevated by hydraulics that could be driven around the stadium. Why not give Browns radio announcers Jim Donovan and Doug Dieken their own mobile front row seat to call the games?
Velcro strap a comfy leather love seat to a giant fork lift for Jim and Diek with Nathan Zegura at the wheel, have all three wearing mini-cams. Call it the Dawg-Mobile - spray paint it burnt orange and seal brown and cover it with CBD stickers.
At halftime, they could even do coverage of Zegura making the Dawg-Mobile do 360’s in the empty parking lot. Be fun to hear Donovan squealing with glee, “Chubba Wubba Whoaaaaaaa!” while Diek adds a stoic, “He has a second gear.”
There are plenty more possibilities, of course, but the point is to take advantage of this not-so-ideal reality we've been forced into and use it to elevate the broadcasting quality of live football. That’s what trying these (and other) bold suggestions could possibly deliver.
Orrr…could be a total shyte-fire and us fans at home will be screaming, “Just play the damn game! Geez...”
Analytical look at the DBs
Regardless of how the NFL broadcasts end up looking and sounding in 2020, every Cleveland fan gets what’s truly important in all of this confusion and uncertainty…
There WILL be Browns football.
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May 10, 2020 at 11:00PM
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6 ways to make crowd-less Cleveland Browns games more bearable - Dawg Pound Daily
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